The Home Depot Problem!

SYNOPSIS - After his house was destroyed for the umpteenth time, Culdee decides to once again head to home depot to help with rebuilding his house but theres one problem. Endless now works as manager of home depot and Culdee is having trouble getting him to help with his house.

(It starts off with Culdee asleep when his alarm starts ringing. Culdee grabs a hammer and destroys the alarm clock. He wakes up and stretches. He runs to a window and opens it)

Culdee: Good morning, Pensecola!

(Suddenly the smoke alarm is heard from downstairs)

Culdee: Uh oh.

(Culdee runs down and sees his stove is on fire)

Culdee: LIL FRED, DID YOU TRY COOKING AGAIN!?

Lil Fred: "honk" (I wanted to make my own pancakes)

(Culdee runs off and grabs a fire extinguisher. He attempts to extinguish the flames only for nothing to come out)

Culdee: S**t.

Lil Fred: "honk" (Well It could be worse)

(The flames then start spreading)

Culdee: Just cant keep your mouth shut, huh?

(Lil Fred is about to speak when the stove explodes causing Culdee and Lil Fred to fly out. They look up to see their place destroyed)

Lil Fred: "honk" (Damn)

Culdee: Eh no worries. I'll just head back to the home depot and have them sort this out again.

Lil Fred: "honk" (You do you)

(Culdee then walks off. It then cuts to the home depot. Culdee walks in)

Culdee: Hello fellas, im here to make another reservation. My house got destroyed for the umpteenth time-

(One of the home depot fellas turns around revealing it to be Endless)

Culdee: Endless?

Endless: Sup Culdee-king-deedee.

Culdee: Since when did you work at home depot?

Endless: Well its a long story. Basically during one of my nightly rampages, I threw myself out a window in rage and landed on Sonic's car, and he was in a bad mood at the time. Now he's threatening to sue me and I need to get enough extra money to get the bastard off my face. So what can I do for you?

Culdee: Well glad you asked. My house got destroyed for the umpteenth time and I want to make a reservation for you guys to fix my place up.

Endless: Ooooh well about that.

Culdee: What, what's wrong?

Endless: Well due to our schedule being filled up, its prolly gonna take us bout a few days to come up with the reservation.

Culdee: Few days, i can handel that.

Endless: Well see the thing is we dont know if its days or not. It could take weeks, months, or even years.

Culdee: Here's what I think of those options. Days. Yes. Weeks. Maybe. Months. No. Years. FORGET ABOUT IT!

Endless: Alright, calm your ass. We're gonna see what we can do okay?

Culdee: Alright. In the meantime, im gonna drop at a hotel or something.

Endless: Okay you do you.

(Culdee walks off)

Endless: Asshole.

(It cuts to Culdee and Lil Fred at a hotel)

Culdee: Alright Fred, until our place gets fixed we're gonna be staying in this hotel.

Lil Fred: "honk" (Stars?)

Culdee: 4!

Lil Fred: ...

Culdee: Alright 3.

Lil Fred:

Culdee: OKAY FINE ITS TWO DAMN IT!

Lil Fred: "honk" Thought so.

Culdee: Aw come on Fred, its not that bad! Sure we got greasy walls, rickety beds-

Neighbor 1 (Voice): ORDER OF THE PHOENIX SUCKED!

Neighbor 2 (voice): WILL YOU SHUT UP!?

Neighbor 1 (voice): YOU SHUT UP!

Culdee: Aaaaand crazy neighbors. But we will only be in here until our house is fixed.

Lil Fred: "honk" (Which is...?)

Culdee: ... Well, we'll find out soon enough.

(Culdee turns off the lamp and tries to go to sleep but the neighbors keep shouting)

Neighbor 1 (Voice): YOU DONT KNOW TRUE HARRY POTTER FILMS!

Neighbor 2 (Voice): IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!

Neighbor 1 (Voice): YOU DONT HAVE THE BALLS BRUH!

Culdee: This is gonna be a long night.

(It then cuts to the next morning. Culdee and the rest of the wiki gang are seen leaving SML Wiki Headquarters)

Culdee: *yawn* Man that was a good sleep.

Slugs: You slept through out the whole meeting?

Culdee: Well you can thank my loud hotel neighbors.

Slugs: Since when are you in a hotel?

Culdee: Had to stay there since my house got burnt down. Im staying there until Home depot can help out.

Slugs: Okay. Well i hope you get your home back soon.

Culdee: Thanks. Well ima go check on the place now.

Slugs: Okey dokey.

(Culdee walks off. It then cuts back to home depot where Endless is seen on the phone)

Endless: Sorry but we dont hire pussies here. Go work at IKEA.

(Culdee walks up)

Endless: Hows it going Culds?

Culdee: Fine. I just dropped by to get some supplies to help refurnish my home.

Endless: Well do you have a home depot license?

Culdee: Gasuntiet?

Endless: You cant purchase stuff from here without a home depot lisence.

Culdee: Since when?

Endless: Like 5 minutes ago.

Culdee: ... Can I uh have a talk with your manager?

Endless: Sure.

(Endless walks off and comes back wearing a manager tag)

Endless: Yo.

Culdee: ENDLESS, YOUR THE MANAGER!?

Endless: Yeah. The old one got his bones crushed after a shelf fell on him so yeah.

Culdee: How do I even get a liscence-

(A phone then beeps)

Phone: Mr. Possibilites, you have a phone call.

Endless: One second.

(Endless picks up the phone)

Endless: Dafuq you want?

(Gibberish is heard from the phone)

Endless: Sorry I dont speak chipmunk.

(More gibberish)

Endless: Hey if your not happy with the dry wall then suck it up. You already paid for it.

(Even more gibberish)

Endless: I dont give a s*** if its made of stale cheetos. You bought it, its your problem.

(Loud gibberish)

Endless: Look if your gonna be a whiny b***h about it, maybe you should consider heading to the home and garden section. We sell pansies over there.

(Endless hangs up)

Culdee: So how do I get a-

Matt Major: Oi. Your holding up the line!

Manic: Yeah some of us got products to buy!

Baldi: I didnt get my Home Depot liscene for nothing.

(Izuru then comes up driving a forklift)

Izuru: Sir do you have a home depot license?

Culdee: I have no idea what that even is.

Izuru: Alright, im afraid im gonna have to ask you to leave.

Culdee: But-

(Izuru grabs Culdee with the forklift and yeets him out the building)

Culdee: Ugh.

Human Meggy: Hey Culdee!

Culdee: Oh. Hey, Meggy.

Human Meggy: You dont look too happy.

Culdee: Im not. Ever since Endless became the manager of Home Depot, its making me impossible to get my house fixed.

Human Meggy: Since when was Endless the manager of home depot?

Culdee: Something about Sonic and his car but that aint the point. What is the point is that I find a way to get him to stop pushing me away.

Human Meggy: Hmm. I think I might have come up with something.

Culdee: What is it?

(Human Meggy whispers something to Culdee. He gets a shocked expression)

Culdee: I love you.

Human Meggy: What?

Culdee: N-nothing! Lets get to home depot!

Human Meggy: Okay!

(The two run off. It then cuts to Endless at the front desk talking to Doofy the Dragon)

Endless: Rope is in aisle 5. Barstools are in aisle 9.

Doofy: Thank you.

(Doofy walks off as Culdee and Human Meggy enter)

Culdee: Yo Enderman.

Endless: Damn it Culdee. Izuru told you your not allowed to come in until you get a Home Depot license which we give to everyone but you.

Culdee: Well Endless im here to make a deal.

Endless: Okay make it quick. I got a busy schedule here.

Culdee: If you give me a Home Depot liscence, I wont shut down your shop.

Endless: How do you even think your gonna shut down my shop?

Culdee: Oh gee I dont know. Other than, I heard you cheated to get as the manager of Home Depot.

Endless: I didnt cheat to become the manager.

Culdee: Then explain this.

(Culdee brings out his phone which shows security footage of the original home depot manager walking around when Endless pushes a shelf onto the manager crushing its back)

Endless (Recording): Oh no. The manager f***ing died. Can I get a promotion now?

Endless: ...

Culdee: Found it because plot.

Endless: Okay I needed the manager promotion so I could pay off sonic's car.

Culdee: I see. So you gonna give the license.

Endless: Of course not.

Culdee: Oh gee wizz. Looks like im gonna have to show this footage to the news.

Endless: I dont think you can mentally handel that.

Culdee: Oh yeah why not?

Endless: Oh boys!

(Some Home Depot employees come out. They then rip off their skin revealing to be Endless Soldiers in disguise. The soldiers grab nail guns and point them at Human Meggy)

Culdee: What the hell?

Endless: Yeah if you shown that footage then I might as well Nail Meggy's head to the nearest aisle.

Culdee: You put a nail in her head, I will shave you.

Endless: Good thing im already bald.

Culdee: I just dont know weather or not to take you seriously, bitch.

Endless: I hope you like hospital food.

(Culdee loses it and grabs Endless' face and pushes him to the ground)

Culdee: YOU JUST TRIGGERED A F***ING FNAF NERD!

(Culdee pins Endless to a wall and punches him repeatedly. Endless grabs a tree from a flower pot)

Endless: Hey Culdee look! Its your own kind!

Culdee: Bitch, I am not a tree.

Endless: Says you.

(Endless bashes the tree against Culdee knocking him to the floor)

Human Meggy: Culdee!

(Human Meggy tries to run to help Culdee but a soldier points a nail gun to her head forcing her to stay in place. Endless grabs a pipe wrench and is about to attack when Culdee raises his hand up)

Culdee: Wait! This voilence shtick is not getting us anywhere.

Endless: Your right. We shall settle this the new fashioned way.

(It then cuts to Culdee and Endless facing eachother with Culdee holding a microphone and Endless holding a pipewrench)

Three, Two, One, GO!

(They sing the Home Depot remix of Ugh)

1 song later.

Culdee: Well who won?

Izuru: I say its a tie.

Endless: So back to the old fashioned way?

Culdee: Sure why not.

Endless: Okey dokey

(The two then continue beating eachother up. Endless pushes Culdee to a shelf and grabs jumper cables)

Endless: Hold on, let me stick some jumper cables on those nips, it might help.

(Endless is about to stick the jumper cables on Culdee but Culdee grabs the cables and throws them the forklift Izuru is driving causing it to go crazy)

Izuru: Uh oh.

(The forklift explodes causing Izuru to fly into a wall)

Endless: Well

(He points a pipe wrench at Culdee)

Endless: Any last words?

Culdee: Yeah. We have a slugslingee.

(Slugs then jumps down through the roof holding two fire axes and destroys the two Endless soldiers)

Endless: Well thanks to plot, I have backup.

(A bunch of Endless soldiers come running out and Slugs starts fighting them)

Endless: You know what you are Culdee? A tool. In fact.

(Endless brings out his microphone)

Endless